Pendulum

I haven't been very diligent or faithful about keeping this up to date. I suppose it's because most of my days are the same as all the days before. But even if they are the same in routine, the thoughts that run through my mind are constantly changing and developing. 

Lately, I have been able to find time in my mornings and afternoons for boatloads of studying online. It keeps my mind sharp, which when working a mundane job as I am seems rather important these days. I've been diving into more of the Quantum physics side of the consciousness, and each link that I click leads me to seven more I want to explore.  Currently, I have four videos in open tabs waiting their turn.  It always excites me to find connectedness between them, to hear something referenced that you just learned about or that makes you want to learn more about that something new. In this process, a few old jems have popped up, like The Secret movie in its entirety. I've read the book several times, misplaced it, and have thought about purchasing it again. Watching the movie was a great reminder of how I need to refocus my energy and put any negative thoughts aside.  It also made it even more clear that I need to keep digging deeper to find what I truly WANT in life, because the not knowing it creating a cycle of not knowing.  I love reflecting back upon little actions that all brought me to this "studying."  It wasn't like I sat down bored one day and googled quantum consciousness. It all came to me in bits and pieces which is truly magical when you think about it.

I sometimes feel like I am attached to a 12-hour pendulum, wanting to stay and start a future here on one end, frantically searching for my credit card and low fares home on the other.  Over the last couple days I was able to have some awesome Skype chats with two of my closest friends from freshman year of college, and we talked about all sorts of crazy happenings. Being able to connect like that settles the pendulum down and helps me to feel comfortable in the present moment. I really appreciate anything these days that can help me with that feeling.

That's all for now. Nothing terribly insightful, my apologies. :)