One of my dear friends innocently asked me, "so do you play with dogs all day, or what?" Over the course of the day I composed this. Flying solo this weekend, I have a bit more free time than I would normally be allowed. ;) Beware: it's super long.
My days starts each morning between 5:30am and 6am. It should be mentioned that I haven’t been
able to sleep well, so I actually wake up at 10:30pm, 12:30am, 2:45am, 4:15am,
5:00am, and then finally, when I am deep in a pleasant slumber, my alarm jars
me awake. Some days I sleep with the
boys and get up first, but usually I sleep with the girls and get up a little
later. We have the two “specials” (the
boys) in a separate room that is air-conditioned, since the Bulldog can’t
survive here without it. Two of the
girls are in a separate room right now because they are in season. Sleeping with them creates a whole sort of
other problems come morning time, when I have to let the other four in-tact
males out. Apparently they really are
dumb enough to think that I have somehow morphed into the girls in season while
still maintaining my human form. The
worst offender is the cat, err, Basenji, and only this morning did I discover
that rather than pushing him off, which just agitates him and causes him to
bite me (really fun stuff) I can spray water on him and he runs away faster
than a speeding bullet, further proving to me that he is in fact, a cat.
Needless to say, I have been walking around all morning with a glass of water in
my hand.
This brings us to about 6:30am. The sun is just starting to
brighten the sky and the moon hangs over the city of Bangkok to my west. In an attempt to beat the heat, I have been
getting the Lab out earlier and earlier for our morning jog/walk. But first, I have to juggle dogs, since the
males cannot see him or they will all go nuts and then I will have a very
large dog fight on my hands. So, the girls come in from out back and go into
their amazing lion sized cage. Keep in mind that I work with four Beagles, and
a Lab who seems to be suffering from a combination of separation anxiety and
sheer spoiledness all of which have been exasperated by the girls in season. So
from the moment our feet touch the floor, on top of running around switching
dogs, we are constantly running around trying to keep everyone quiet.
So we shuffle the dogs, and I get the Lab client out for his
walk/jog. I always really enjoy the
coolness of the mornings and the solitude our walk together. Monday through Friday I catch a Monk blessing
one of the neighbors before he climbs onto the back of motorcycle. I witness several of the staff members who do
not live on the premises of their bosses arriving on bikes and motorcycles, and
those that do live here are busy at work sweeping up the dead leaves that fall
without fail every night. I get back to
the house around 7:15am, and after some more shuffling I get a lesson in with a
couple of the dogs that will be shown in the near future.
Another one of my favorite moments I might add. Somewhere before 8am I
find time for coffee and a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich, made
possible by generous gifts from the cooks at my boss’s house (PB&J are not
cheap over here).
8am is the feeding frenzy.
Before you can even pick the first bowl up off the ground from out back where
it has been drying, the Beagles are bellowing. This process is easy when there
are two of us, but takes no less than 25 minutes when you are alone. Yesterday, the Basenji started jumping into
the living room through the open window, so while I was feeding the boys out
back this morning, the Lab started barking much more fiercely than normal. I looked in to see the Basenji snooping
around. Luckily the girls were secured in their cages. Moments before, the
girls had been enjoying free roam of the living room and kitchen because their
door doesn’t latch well and I somehow manage to fail to double check it about once
a day. I feel bad for them living in
exile during their seasons, so I was letting them meander around and clean up
what morsels they could find while I worked on the other bowls. I had put them back in their cage before
going out back with the boys, who need to be supervised since tensions are high
with this many testicles running around and two girls in standing season. And even supervised there is usually a
scuffle, somewhat unavoidable.
After everyone else is in their place, I get the honor of
feeding the Bulldog. When I am not alone I usually sit with him during his
meal, welcoming the break as I sit on the floor. But today I set his food in
his cage and went back to shuffle the young Labs out of the outside cage and
move the Basenji in, where he will remain to the rest of the day. I am not dealing with his issues today. While inside, I grab the pills for the Bulldog.
He has a stone in his bladder and crystals in his pee, so I get to try (usually
unsuccessfully) to shove them down his throat and get them to stay down without
him vomiting. The pills cannot be placed in his food because he will sniff them
out and avoid them. By this time in the
day, I have already fed him several syringes full of water, but I usually add a
little more after breakfast. He isn’t drinking enough so we have to force him
to drink. When I started a week ago, he
was willingly drinking the water maybe once a day, but that wasn’t getting
enough in him. Now he just sits there while you squirt it in, refusing to
swallow half the time so that most of it runs out his jowls. He also developed an ear infection which I
discovered on Monday. Again, he was great about getting his ears cleaned then,
but now that it’s something that has to happen every day, twice a day, he has
become quite stubborn about this as well.
Usually he will let me clean them in the morning with no issue, but
trying to medicate them afterwards has resulted in several near bites. Awesome, right? I try to break up the routine with him,
sometimes cleaning them early in the morning so as to give him time between
stressful encounters. I also make it a point of just hanging out with him and
playing so that I am not always torturing him when I come into the room. Sometime in the morning, I have to clean his
folds. Luckily, he enjoys this process so it is stress free for both of
us. First you wipe with a damp cloth,
then you absorb the moisture with toilet paper.
Sometimes I use this time to attempt medicating his ears again. When all
of these charades are through, I have to clean that room. About every third or fourth day, everything
needs to be pulled out and thoroughly wiped down, but usually a change of
blankets and quick vacuum is all that is needed. I have learned to wait until after giving him
his pills to clean the room since sometimes he vomits them back up 5 minutes
later. When that happens, you fish through the vomit to salvage the pill and
start over! So much fun.
It’s about 9-9:30am when I am done with all of that, and now
I get to clean up the outside. I find
this a very frustrating endeavor for several reasons. First, I do not have a
functioning hose. Every day we have to jimmy rig something to the faucet to
make it work, usually something June does for me. Then the water comes out the
hose that has no attachment at the end, so if I desire pressures it’s the good
ol’ finger over the hole trick. But don’t create too much pressure, or it will
bust off the faucet. The second reason this is
frustrating for me is that when I am in cleaning mode, I enter into a world of OCD
craziness. If I am not cleaning I can
ignore dirtiness and even some mess, but if I decide to clean I will become
fixated on every speck that doesn’t belong.
Given the first reason, you can understand how this creates
problems. Also, brooms here are made out
of straw or twigs or whatever, handy as rakes for leaves, not as effective when
trying to move or remove sand. Third,
part of my routine is to hose the marble and squeegee it dry. All fine and dandy except there are 4-6 dogs
running around, now with muddy feet because the hose is running. So even if I manage to clean these floors
without interruption, they only stay clean for moments. Not to mention the boys running over to
remark their corners. The one exception is when doing the “deep clean” of the
carport, I use soap, so they get locked up until that is dry. Otherwise, it’s a free for all.
When all of that is done, it is time to take the Lab
swimming. But first we shuffle the dogs and let the Bulldog out. Then the Lab. So
far, we are only going every other day.
We do not have a tennis ball or bumper that floats, all we have is a
large squeaky toy. It works, but it is
slowly filling with water. The “lake”
where I swim him is about ½ mile away, so more walking. But I love this part of my day as well, and
would enjoy being able to do it every day, except for the fact that when we
return I have to dry him completely every time, because June is convinced he
will rot if left wet. She doesn’t believe me that summers in Wisconsin are 20x
more humid than it currently is here, and that with a fan he will dry. So… that takes a good 30 minutes. I don’t mind the work, it’s just hard when
there is such a communication barrier to explain that, I do, in fact, know what
I am talking about. On the days when he doesn’t go swimming, there is always
laundry to be done (by hand, mind you, because the man with TWO Maserati’s
doesn’t bother to purchase a washing machine for his help), crate pans to
scrub, dishes to wash, floors to sweep, etc. When we are done with whatever the
morning activities are that day, we both take a quick cold shower and we head
to lunch at my bosses house. This is usually the first significant amount of
time I can spend on my ass instead of on my feet. The food is always wonderful, but June is the
only one who speaks any English, so I don’t get to enjoy any of the
conversation. We grab some extra food
for dinner, fill up water bottles, and head home.
Now around 1 or 2pm, some days this time is spent bathing
dogs. But first we shuffle the dogs and let
the Bulldog out. Then the Lab. Some days I do get a little bit of free time
here, assuming the dogs who need bathing are done for the week. If I need to leave the premise, this is the
time for me to go. We still do not have internet hooked up so I usually spend
it with my feet elevated on the couch reading my GRE prep book and resting my
eyes.
By 3pm we return to the great outdoors (I return, I should
say: June doesn’t believe in breaks and is simply a machine who never stops).
Constantly leaves that need raking, poop that needs scooping. I work up a sweat in a matter of minutes, and
I can feel my biceps growing, so again, this isn’t a chore that I particularly
mind.
4pm is the dinner feeding frenzy.
5pm is the insanity of walking time. All of the dogs
thoroughly enjoy this time of the day, so as soon as the first leash is
grabbed, everyone is barking and carrying on.
It is a carefully orchestrated fiasco, keeping those dogs that can’t see
one another away from each other, keeping the girls isolated, and so on. Fortunately,
we always get a lot of help walking everyone. The staff from the big house
shows up to help without fail every night. And some nights my boss helps too, assuming he gets home from work at a decent time and isn't completely exhausted. No matter how tired I get, I just think about all the things he has going on, and I feel better. I
always enjoy when he helps because he is great to talk to, and surprisingly, makes
me feel a whole lot stressed about my day. I usually have to do two sets of
dogs, plus a quick walk with the bulldog.
June usually does two sets as well, and then we have two groups of
people that assist in walking everyone else.
The craziest and most frustrating part is trying to get harnesses onto
the ever-so excited Beagles, who are bouncing and barking the entire time. It should be recorded. I usually break into a
sweat just doing that. By then time we are done it’s usually after 5:40pm, and
this works as a dinner hour for ourselves.
But there is laundry to do and dishes to wash as well, so we don’t sit
idle for too long.
Dogs are shuffled some more so everyone gets to enjoy the
last hour outside. This is another chance for me to work with dogs on the table and on leashes, and I usually try to just unwind with them and play a little. Obviously, this means this hour is another of my favorite times of the day. By 6:45pm we start the end of the day ritual. Originally
I thought this was way too early, but I welcome the break now. The dogs have
been going to bed this early their whole lives, so it’s nothing to them. And
they all make it to morning just fine.
But the dogs are not simply put up for the night, however. Buckets are
filled and rags are grabbed, and everyone gets wiped down for the night before
being placed inside their cages. Even
though I find this tedious, I think it’s a habit I would incorporate at my own
house. It’s quite brilliant.
Finally the day is over, never sooner than 7:15pm. This is when I leave to the Clubhouse for
internet and a swim, if I have the energy.
When I return I usually let the Bulldog and Lab out again since it’s
cool enough for them at this point and they enjoy having the yard to themselves
as much as I enjoy having the quiet and calm of just watching two dogs instead
of the whole pack. The sky is surprisingly clear here, being so close (think West Allis compared to Milwaukee) to such a huge city. But I can always see a handful of stars and watch the moon as it rise over our neighbor's house. The day ends early, and currently I have no books to read, so it's off to sleep by no
later than 9:30pm, just to wake up and do it all over again.
