Over the past few weeks, I have led a very spoiled life. Maybe not by your definition, but I've never been one to be so concerned with anyone else's definitions of things.
Being able to experience countless moments of sheer contentment--a raw, simple feeling of joy and peace. Being able to do all the things I wanted to do, and finding myself in those moments knowing that right there was where I was supposed to be. Being able to sit peacefully, fully present, and just smile. Being teased for not being able to stop smiling. Maybe spoiled isn't fair to say; after all, I did go out and take what I wanted. I made those moments. I celebrated positive things in my life and let go of negative ones. Nothing was given to me, but I do feel gratitude for them just in case.
The irony is that in a few of those moments, I allowed myself to question when the other foot would drop. I would quickly dismiss such thoughts, but their trails remained. The irony is that is the perfection of those moments, I found myself wondering what bad things I would have to experience to pay for them. Isn't that morbid?
Now, the title might suggest that such a bad thing did happen. It didn't, not really. But I did go and make a perfectly good situation a lot harder for myself, as I tend to do. It's almost as though I am incapable of falling in love with the right person. It's almost as though my life continues to mock me until I write that damned screen play that I started 11 months ago. It's almost as if things were going too smoothly, my road needed a couple twists and turns.
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