This afternoon started with great anticipation.
It was followed by frustration...which ultimately led to disappointment.
And then I just thought, "Hell... I'm going to go have some fun." Shoot some pool. Drink some drinks. Hang out with my parents. Talk to the neighbors. Enjoy the company of others.
What I discovered is that I had a lot of fun, and I was able to walk away from a feeling of "unworthiness," and experience feelings of satisfaction. I realize that drunkenly making correlations between this and anything more is a risky thing to do, but I am going to do it anyway.
Live your life. Don't sit around and wait. Don't sit and spew and let negativity bring you down. Find things that make you happy and do them. Let your dad share his high school memories of ridiculous songs (check out Skunk Dead in The Middle Of a Road for my exact example) and enjoy them. Share stories and grow. Help your neighbors realize there is more to life, even if they might not remember it in the morning. Stand up for yourself and your last three years of questionable decisions if you believe that what you were doing was right at the time, even when doing so offends your best friend at the moment, because best friends will eventually understand. Listen to really good music and talk about how those songs affected you when you first heard them.
And then come home and listen to more good music and share it with others. Then sit down and write about the entire experience.
More than once today I had to remind myself, out loud, while driving in my car, that I have a lot of really good things to happy and positive about. I had to remind myself that the cliche of everything happening for a reason is a cliche FOR A REASON. Luckily, I drive mainly on quiet highways, so there was no one nearby to comment on the crazy person talking to herself. And you know what??? Sometimes, I DO answer myself. So if that makes me certifiable, so be it. Sometimes you have to hear things out loud to believe them.
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